


WWBKD

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-19
Updated: 2007-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-27 07:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: The boys discuss their favorite subject





	WWBKD

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Note: Someone asked if I was still writing. I'm actually working (actively!) on the next chapter of Educating Justin. I had prepared this for the icon challenge, but ended up falling asleep while proofing it and missed submitting it for the deadline. It's a bit of fluff - I had trouble finding an icon that inspired me.   


* * *

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/netlagd/pic/0008e1y8/)

It had all started as a joke, once again Brian had left Ted, Emmett and Michael to fend for themselves as he took off in the jeep with some trick. 

They had piled into Ted’s car and soon they were on Liberty Avenue, stuck in late night traffic, trying to decide -- Diner or home.“I don’t understand,” Michael complained.

“Understand what, honey?” Emmett asked from the back seat.  
  
“That bumper sticker. All of a sudden I see them everywhere. They’re all over the parking lot at the Big Q. What the fuck does WWJD mean anyway?”  
  
Ted chuckled. “It stands for _‘what would Jesus do?’_.”  
  
“Well, he certainly wouldn’t be caught dead driving a dismal green Plymouth Aries from the eighties, that’s for sure,” Emmett commented on the car ahead of them.  
  
Ted stared at Emmett in the rear view mirror, while Michael craned his head around the headrest to gape at him. _What the hell did Emmett know about cars?_  
  
“Oh please, it’s not like I don’t know about cars. I mean, back in Hazelhurst, Mississippi, cars were all boys -- well, straight boys anyway -- thought about after girls. I remember Troy Carter, the star quarterback on the football team and pitcher for the baseball team had a red Trans Am that he rebuilt in shop class... He once picked me up for a ride, and I do mean _ride_. Who would have thought under that buffed up brute body hid a curious bottom?” and off Emmett went on a lovely trip down memory lane.  
  
“Stupid traffic! What the fuck’s the hold up anyway?” Ted complained.  
  
Michael tried to see if there was any reason the traffic wasn’t moving. “There seems to be a truck and trailer blocking the crossroad.”  
  
“Great! We’re stuck in the middle of the block, what the fuck am I supposed to do?”  
  
“What would Jesus do?” Emmett lightly laughed from the back seat.  
  
“I don’t know what Jesus would do, but Brian would grab that guy over there,” Michael pointed to a particularly attractive, hot guy who was walking down the street, faster than the traffic was moving, “and have him give him a blow job while he waited for the traffic to clear.”  
  
Ted rolled his eyes.  
  
“Well, Michael, you should probably climb into the back seat with me to make room. Go on Teddy, go for it!”  
  
Ted closed his eyes. _Jesus! I’m surrounded by idiots._  
  
Michael made to get into the back seat, but Ted barred his way. The truck with the trailer was finally towed away and traffic began to move.  
  
+++++  
  
As time went on, somehow WWJD became WWBKD -- What Would Brian Kinney Do? And it stuck.  
  
Whenever the boys saw the bumper sticker one of them would invariably point it out and utter the now familiar mantra - _What Would Brian Kinney Do?_  
  
In time, the phrase became a staple of their vernacular. After all, wasn’t there always some drama in their life that they just knew Brian would handle -- more aggressively, more directly, more... well, just better?  
  
+++++  
  
Emmett was the first of the crew to move from mumbling the phase to putting it into action.  
  
“What happened to you last night?” Michael asked as Emmett joined him at the bar at Babylon.  
  
“WWBKD.”  
  
“Huh?” Ted joined the conversation.  
  
“You remember Mr. Heavy Handed Bear from last night?”  
  
“Sure.” “Yeah.”  
  
“Well, I had just about had it up to here.” Emmett gestured for greater impact. “I mean really, do I wear a sign around my neck says ‘Here I am! Paw me!’”  
  
Michael and Ted exchanged glances. Emmett had on skin tight tangerine leather pants and a net short sleeved shirt that gaped at the belly when he raised his glass to drink.  
  
“Well, a girl still has the right to say ‘no’!” Waiving his hand as if to shoo away a fly, Emmett continued, “But he just wouldn’t take no for an answer. Soooo, I found myself asking myself ‘What would Brian Kinney Do?’ Well, he sure as hell wouldn’t put up with the shit I’d been dealing with all night. So I grabbed his arm.” Emmett demonstrated by grabbing Ted’s arm and twisting it around his back.   
“Hey! Watch it!”  
  
“Oh Teddy, don’t be a baby. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I grabbed his arm and I marched his ass out of here. Once we were outside, to my great surprise and pleasure, he was all totally submissive. He was _begging_ me to take him home and have my way with him... So I did!”  
  
Michael and Ted stared at Emmett.  
  
“Close your mouths boys, you’re catching flies.” Emmett laughed. He leaned back on the bar on his elbows and took a sip of his Cosmo.  
  
+++++  
  
Michael was the next to cross the bridge.  
  
He’d had it. Every day it was the same. He’d arrive at work only to find trash and garbage strewn along the sidewalk in front of his store. And only his store. The trash began at the corner of the building and ended at the other corner of the shop.  
  
He’d called Carl to ask for help only to find that his hands were tied. The police would take a report, but with the shortage of officers due to staff cuts, there wasn’t anyone who would pursue the investigation.  
  
 _Brian wouldn’t put up with this shit!_ Then Michael knew - WWBKD!  
  
With the aid of some of the more geeky patrons of the store, he set up a video camera surveillance and a trap. Hunter, Ben and Michael spent the night at the store in the back room watching the camera monitor that had been hooked up to a video tape system. Despite the allure of the spy nature of their ambush, they drifted off to sleep shortly after midnight.  
  
Around three a.m. a commotion was heard from the front of the store. Immediately, Michael called 911. He, Ben, and Hunter went to investigate. On the sidewalk in front of the store were three teenagers ensnared in a heavy rope net and covered in rotten fruit and vegetables.  
  
The police arrived shortly and hauled the juvenile delinquents off the station.  
  
Hunter surveyed the aftermath and turned to Michael. “The criminals foiled! A capture worthy of a super hero!” He stuck out his hand and pumped Michael’s.   
  
Ben slung an arm around his husband. “Nice going Zephyr.” He laid a soft kiss on Michael’s brow. “Let’s go home.”  
  
+++++  
Though it was a shove from Cynthia, Ted fell as well..  
  
Brian had been there for Ted after his stint in rehab. And though Ted would probably never say the words aloud to the man, Brian had been a lifesaver.   
  
Brian had enough faith, trust, _whatever_ in Ted to give him a chance to prove to himself, and to others that Ted Schmidt was more than a pathetic ex-addict.   
  
Now with the added responsibility of overseeing Kinnetic during Brian’s recovery from cancer surgery and ongoing treatments, Ted vowed not to let the man down.  
  
So here Ted was, feeling like he’d failed Brian miserably, watching the Dandy Lube account presentation tank and Cynthia pushing him toward the bathroom.  
  
Ted looked toward the bathroom door with apprehension, then thought WWBKD?  
  
Ted straightened his shoulders and shaking himself free of Cynthia, marched into the bathroom.  
  
It was good to be Brian Ted learned.  
  
+++++  
  
Years later, the men found themselves in Ted’s car once again stuck in traffic. This time Ted, Emmett, Michael and Ben were trying to exit the mall parking lot, waiting for the light to cycle through.  
  
Michael squinted and read the bumper stickers on the beat up Toyota Carolla ahead of them.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
“The bumper stickers.”  
  
“What do they say, honey?” Emmett leaned forward between the front seats.  
  
“ ‘Somewhere in Texas a village is missing their idiot’, “Practice random, senseless acts’, ‘Visualize Whirled Peas’ and ‘Who Would Jesus Do?’”  
  
“Don’t you mean ‘what would Jesus Do’?” Emmett asked.  
  
“Nope, it definitely says ‘Who’?”  
  
Ben gave chuckle and Ted snorted.  
  
Traffic eased and Ted navigated his way out of the lot.  
  
It started with a grunt. Then a couple of snorts made their way out of Michael’s mouth. A few moments later it had evolved into a giggle, and before he could stop himself, Michael was laughing so hard he was in tears. The rest of the passengers in the car looked at him totally perplexed.  
  
“What?!” Ted finally asked, exasperated.  
  
Michael tried to choke out the words, but barely manage to his them out between fits of laughter. “Who... would...” he choked in a breathe and ended up coughing.  
  
“Yes, yes, _Who would Jesus do?_ ,” Emmett finished. “Really Michael, it’s not that funny.”  
  
“No! No!” Michael waved his hands, still laughing, but now had it under control. “Who would Brian Kinney do?!”  
  
Ben smiled, Ted grinned, and Emmett giggled. Then all at once, in unison, it was heard.  
  
“Justin!”  
  



End file.
